Then we came home and I lost my job two days later.
That sucked. But as much as it sucked, it was a blessing. I hated that job. If ever there was a place that sucked the very life from its employees, it would be there. The timing, obviously, wasn't great. But even among the emotional distress, I never once panicked that we would not survive. Even through the tears, failing never was an option.
God has impeccable timing. I was unemployed for a total of two days. In those two days I was able to resolve a lot in my heart, including my desires. I realized that as much as I would LOVE to stay home with my children full time, I am able to bring so much more to our family by working. My children are thriving in the preschool program they are in, and God has given me peace with that.
The timing allowed for me to take three weeks off from working. It was the most glorious three weeks of my life. I had been running on steam for the longest time with less and less sleep and more and more stress, it was so nice to just breathe. I slept, watched television in the middle of the day, sat on the couch and ate as much ice cream in my underwear as I wanted, and did whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted. I needed that "me" time.
Our family went away to visit my parents for six glorious days in Virginia. We did so much. We loved so much.
I am thankful that I lost my job. I am thankful for my faith in God that pulled me out of the dark times, and there were definitely dark times. My mind is so capable of the very ugly, ugly, ugly. I am thankful for the friends who texted inspiration and kind words when I needed it, laughed with me, and celebrated with me. I am thankful for my husband who stood by me and encouraged me and who loves me.
I am thankful for my new job that I started this week. I am happy. AND I'm so thankful for that.
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