Seasons

 The air has cooled in that way Texas does all crisp-y and suddenly. Yesterday it was 86 and today it’s 56, but that’s just how seasons do in these parts, abruptly and pretty much without notice.

I took a walk yesterday with my boy and we kicked through the few yellowed maple leaves that had decorated the sidewalk. The temperatures actually started dropping yesterday, and I caught myself getting giddy about the summer season ending. I thought about how much of this past six months has been one giant season of life change for our little family and here we are at a literal change of seasons.

Seasons come and seasons go, and life keeps on going. And you know what? Normally, I couldn’t be more thankful for that. Usually I have an incredibly short attention span, ready to jump to the next thing and leave behind the old. I have grand dreams of picking up and moving somewhere new just because a place gets familiar, and I shun familiarity. I would crave change, not wanting to get too close or comfortable. Maybe I’m getting old, or maybe I’m finally growing up, but after the past six months, I’m ready for things to stay the same for a little while. Perhaps that season of life is over.

Brian and I both changed jobs multiple times, our kids changed schools, family was sick or in need, our financial situation changed, we found ourselves in and out of uncertainty, and we experienced pretty much every. single. emotion. (So many emotions!) We fought, every single day, together to make it through. We were tested. We were tempted. We struggled. We were completely broken. We resolved to make it work. It wasn’t easy. But through this season of change God has been there with us and I’m confident in saying that He’s the one that delivered us through those very rough times.

(Even as I write this, Matt Redman’s song “Never Once” is playing, the lyrics “Never once did I ever walk alone.” Just perfect.)

Looking back, I’m thankful for those changes for getting us to where we are today. And I’m hopeful for this next season and what could be in store for the Ritz crew. We’re going to bundle up though, never know what the adventure will lead us through.  

Growing Up

I turn the big 3-0 in less than six months. It should be no surprise that I love my birthday, it's the celebration of my most favorite thing in the whole wide world... me!

I think 30 is going to be awesome, at least all of my friends who have already entered that stage of life seem to agree that it definitely kicks 20's ass and I had some pretty good times in my 20's, especially my late 20's. I really think that I'm one of those people that gets better with age, like I'm growing into my personality. Or maybe I just care a whole lot less than I used to, who knows.

I feel like life is getting better. I worked a whole lot through college, met cool people, met some not so cool people, and then rushed to graduate right before marriage. Then finding a job, then getting pregnant, building a house, more jobs, being financially broke, losing people we love, and then having a second kid, being a little less financially broke, and finally starting to get our shit together. That's pretty much makes up a nine year marathon from age 20-29.

It's nice to be on this side. Secure in myself, finding friends that I actually like, raising children, being married for longer than not, having people like me for me, and not really giving a damn about those who don't. I guess I'm just saying that my 29 year old self could make a really awesome "It Gets Better" video for my sixteen year old self. I never knew that watching my two babies sleeping could ever bring me more joy than a shopping spree at Nordstrom or a few bottles of wine.

That is the best.

Oh, and I'm still learning things! Just a few weeks ago I cooked using the outside grill for the first time. That's a very big thing. My husband keeps trying to teach me how to mow the lawn. No way, sir. Not going to happen. I can't be all that independent yet, but who knows once I turn 30!

I still have a few things left on my 30 under 30 list that I really need to take care of, including learning how to surf, get sewing lessons, a random acts of kindness day, and decorate a fancy cake.

I intend to squeeze every bit of goodness left of my 20's and I hope you'll stay along for the ride.

Have a little faith

Wow, the last month has been a tumultuous time for us. To recap, we went on a super nice vacation to California where we spent time at the beach, played at Disneyland, ventured through Yosemite, explored San Francisco, and discovered the amazing views along the coast.

Then we came home and I lost my job two days later.

That sucked. But as much as it sucked, it was a blessing. I hated that job. If ever there was a place that sucked the very life from its employees, it would be there. The timing, obviously, wasn't great. But even among the emotional distress, I never once panicked that we would not survive. Even through the tears, failing never was an option.

God has impeccable timing. I was unemployed for a total of two days. In those two days I was able to resolve a lot in my heart, including my desires. I realized that as much as I would LOVE to stay home with my children full time, I am able to bring so much more to our family by working. My children are thriving in the preschool program they are in, and God has given me peace with that.

The timing allowed for me to take three weeks off from working. It was the most glorious three weeks of my life. I had been running on steam for the longest time with less and less sleep and more and more stress, it was so nice to just breathe. I slept, watched television in the middle of the day, sat on the couch and ate as much ice cream in my underwear as I wanted, and did whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted. I needed that "me" time.

Our family went away to visit my parents for six glorious days in Virginia. We did so much. We loved so much.

I am thankful that I lost my job. I am thankful for my faith in God that pulled me out of the dark times, and there were definitely dark times. My mind is so capable of the very ugly, ugly, ugly. I am thankful for the friends who texted inspiration and kind words when I needed it, laughed with me, and celebrated with me. I am thankful for my husband who stood by me and encouraged me and who loves me.

I am thankful for my new job that I started this week. I am happy. AND I'm so thankful for that.