In the 2.5 years that I've been a parent I have not had a single restful night sleep and that's not an exaggeration. I know I lay my head down for at least 7 hours every night but I still feel like I'm exhausted by noon every day. It's one of those things that you just adapt to, I guess. The tiredness and nodding off is my new normal... so yay, me!
I lay my head on my balled-up orange pillow and piece together the day as my thoughts run through my mind. Anxious by nature, I do my best worrying after the lights are off and all distractions are gone. Ten, eleven, twelve, the hours creep past me as I toss and turn with just the shallow green light from my alarm clock to keep me company...
Right now Nolan sleeps in his own bedroom just on the other side of our wall and Leah in the pack and play a mere 2 feet from me. He stays there typically from 10pm-4am. Almost like clockwork I can hear his little legs roll out of bed and him walking down the hall to our door to Brian's arms and in between us in our tiny (well, it's a queen size) bed. He does not sleep lightly and the kid practically breakdances in his slumber. An elbow jab here, a foot there, and almost, almost, almost always he's on my side of the bed. But it kinda brings me peace in those early hours, I guess. Because as I'm laying there (NOT SLEEPING) I'm comforted by the sounds of the rythym of both of my babies breathing and right then, right there, everything is right and I can drift right back to sleep.
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