her birth

***Leah Alexandra Ritz was born at 2:47pm on December 15, 2010. Weighing 6lb. 7oz. and was 18.5 inches long***

She came into this world with the most beautiful and petite cry that I have ever heard. After an agonizing wait for her to emerge in the doctor's arms I felt her gentle spirit well up inside of me at the sound of her voice. I had waited so long for her that the transition into becoming her mommy felt so easy and real and natural.

I always saw myself as a mom to a daughter. I had a deep wrought desire in my soul to raise a girl. I have always said that my son Nolan is my heart, but my soul was held for a baby girl. My life could not be more perfect otherwise, I have a wonderful husband and an AH-MAZING son but we knew that our family just wasn't complete just yet. We felt the stir of a desire for a second child soon after Nolan turned one. The timing felt right and our hearts were open to parenting another precious babe. I learned that I was pregnant four days after my 27th birthday. We shared so much joy and excitement and LOVE, overabundance of absolute LOVE for this child that I carried in my belly.

At the anatomy scan Brian and I watched our baby flip and dance on the monitor showing off every angle for the camera (which if you know Leah, you know that she's a natural). I just knew as I gazed at that child that I was carrying a girl, our girl child, but I kept it to myself until my family joined us for the big reveal. I held my breath as the ultrasound technician adjusted and prepared to announce the gender... A GIRL. I audibly gasped and tears gathered in my eyes, I couldn't look away from her though. I watched her as long as the technician took measurements.

I had an emergency c-section with our son, and for planning and safety concerns we opted to schedule a second c-section for Leah. The day, December 15th grew closer as the days got shorter and the weather grew colder. Christmas and the excitement of the holidays filled the air, it was the perfect season to have a baby. My parents arrived in from a blustery snow storm in Virginia the day before to help watch Nolan while we recovered in the hospital.

The night before her birth we visited the Italian Inn and enjoyed generous plates of pasta and slow dances. One of the endearing things about the Italian Inn is all of the signatures and love notes written on the walls and surfaces of the restaurant. We left a little note of our own to mark this occasion. With our bellies full we went home to rest and pack up the car for our four day stay. I don't remember sleeping that night, hardly able to keep my excitement to myself. We woke up early the next morning and hung out at the house since we didn't need to be at the hospital until around noon. I tried to pass the time by watching cartoons with Nolan, coloring in pages, and checking my list one last time. We went for a walk outside, one of my favorite memories as a family of three (plus mamaw and papaw). Then the time came for us to leave.

I stopped at Target on my way to the hospital and bought a copy of Despicable Me for Nolan to watch with my parents while we were gone. I remember hobbling down the aisle anxious to tell everyone around me that I was going to have a baby today! I'm quite sure that wasn't the Christmas surprise that they were hoping for. I hope they didn't mind... oops!

We arrived at the hospital with bags in hand and headed to check in. The nurse led us back to our room and I sent my folks off with Nolan to grab lunch before it was surgery time. I got hooked up to monitors and of course we waited... and waited... and waited... and got bumped for an emergency, again, and then again. Finally, my doctor arrived before I got wheeled to the back. I hugged my son one more time and nuzzled my head into his mop of hair never wanting to forget him like he was right then. My first baby. My whole heart.

The ride in the hospital bed always seems so lonely. I know that seems silly, but a part of me wanted to go back and be with my loves for a little while longer. Torn between my present and the inevitable change of the future as a mom of two little ones. I pushed back that saddness when I was back in the room with the hospital staff and the last few t's were crossed.

Finally, Brian joined me again by head. He stroked my head and held my hand. We felt like pros this time, everything much more relaxed than the first. We joked about the sounds of the equipment, and how strange things felt from behind the curtain. And then that moment came and there she was!

The nurse brought her around from the curtain to the warming table. She looked so tiny and angelic. Crying turned to tiny whimpers and then she was calm. A few moments later she was in Brian's arms and near my face. I kissed her tiny head and stroked her cheek. It was so soft and so warm and then I saw the most beautiful pools of blue eyes that I've ever seen. She blinked twice at me and then closed them again, as if she saved those moments just for me. Like she waited too for her mama to arrive.

Before long Brian was able to wheel her back to the room to be joined with our families again while I got closed up. He got to help bath her in the room and Nolan got to see his "Lee Lee" for the first time. He's an awesome big brother and I believe that it's the most wonderful thing in parenthood to watch your children grow up together.

I waited a full year for both of my kids to post their birth stories because I feel like every day for the first year of their life is a celebration of their birth. And as they grow older that celebration doesn't go away, but evolves in a celebration of our journeys. I look forward with JOY and HOPE for my children in their lives. My heart and my soul are full and I am better because they are in my life. It's an honor to be their mother.